Mini Marts

Mini Marts
All 5 of us!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Sense of Loss*

The caption on FB read:
"The six of us"
From left to right: Me, Capri, Sierra (our niece), Bobby and Jeremy. . . By count that's only 5. . .
This is how we choose to tell the world of Facebook we are expecting another baby!

It is with a heavy heart I continue this post. I expected to write about how excited the kids were to find out their prayers have been answered. Both Sierra and Jeremy have prayed for another baby. It's so sweet to see their faces light up as they realize God had listened to their prayers:

On Thursday night I had some bleeding. We went to the ER. Blood tests and Ultrasounds came back showing the baby was ok and still growing. We were sent home at 3am. Bobby was off to work at 6am. Around 11am I started bleeding again. I kinda brushed it off since the tests the night before showed everything was ok. By 3pm the bleeding was excessive. I called friends to take the kids (BIG thank you to the Shaws!), Bobby came home from work and we headed to the ER. By this point the bleeding was uncontrollable. I was passing clots like crazy. We were beginning to accept that we were losing the baby.

A few hours later the bleeding had not slowed; the nurses and doctors were troubled by the amount of blood I was losing. Blood tests and ultrasounds also confirmed a miscarriage. Since I was bleeding so much the doctors were not sure if a D&C was needed. They wanted to wait to see if my body would finish cleaning out on it's own. While waiting for the Doctors to make a decision, I passed out once and almost a second time. An IV of fluids was started to help thin my blood and hydrate me. The decision to operate was made. I had lost too much blood and they were worried I would need a transfusion if they let it continue.

By 10am I was recovering from surgery and sent home. I got home for a nap while Bobby picked up the kids. They woke me up with kisses and snuggles! I am still recovering. I'm tired and in slight pain but finding joy in being able to sit and watch how precious my kids are! And how incredibly amazing my husband is! He didn't leave my side the entire time we were at the hospital. He was right there when I woke up from surgery and he continues to take care of the kids and the house while I am recovering, physically and emotionally.

Pregnancy, babies and the process of nursing have me in awe of God. He has thought of everything! Even through losing a baby, I can see His mighty work. I know to lean on Him for my strength and peace. I do not feel at peace yet; I see my family and feel like there is something missing. Then I feel a bit ridiculous because I was only 6 weeks along. But, we had already made plans to push projects aside to save for a bigger vehicle and told everybody!  We have an outpouring of love and help from family and friends; which we are incredibly thankful to God for providing this support system! I know the sense of peace will come as long as I am diligent in praying for it.

We would appreciate your prayers as well!

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