Working through the grief*

A friend sent me this song. It helped her get through the loss of her first baby.

The words of this song are incredibly sweet.

Grab some tissues. . .

Glory Baby by Watermark
Glory baby you slipped away as fast as we could say baby…baby..
You were growing, what happened dear?
You disappeared on us baby…baby..
Heaven will hold you before we do
Heaven will keep you safe until we’re home with you…
Until we’re home with you… 
Miss you everyday
Miss you in every way
But we know there’s a
day when we will hold you
We will hold you
You’ll kiss our tears away
When we’re home to stay
Can’t wait for the day when we will see you
We will see you
But baby let sweet Jesus hold you
‘till mom and dad can hold you…
You’ll just have heaven before we do
You’ll just have heaven before we do 
Sweet little babies, it’s hard to
understand it ‘cause we’re hurting
We are hurting
But there is healing
And we know we’re stronger people through the growing
And in knowing-
That all things work together for our good
And God works His purposes just like He said He would…
Just like He said He would… 
BRIDGE:
I can’t imagine heaven’s lullabies
and what they must sound like
But I will rest in knowing, heaven is your home
And it’s all you’ll ever know…all you’ll ever know…

June 2013 Update

Love this new app! It will make updates so much easier!

A beautiful mess app 

The Sense of Loss*

The caption on FB read:
"The six of us"

From left to right: Me, Capri, Sierra (our niece), Bobby and Jeremy. . . By count that's only 5. . .
This is how we choose to tell the world of Facebook we are expecting another baby!

It is with a heavy heart I continue this post. I expected to write about how excited the kids were to find out their prayers have been answered. Both Sierra and Jeremy have prayed for another baby. It's so sweet to see their faces light up as they realize God had listened to their prayers:

On Thursday night I had some bleeding. We went to the ER. Blood tests and Ultrasounds came back showing the baby was ok and still growing. We were sent home at 3am. Bobby was off to work at 6am. Around 11am I started bleeding again. I kinda brushed it off since the tests the night before showed everything was ok. By 3pm the bleeding was excessive. I called friends to take the kids (BIG thank you to the Shaws!), Bobby came home from work and we headed to the ER. By this point the bleeding was uncontrollable. I was passing clots like crazy. We were beginning to accept that we were losing the baby.

A few hours later the bleeding had not slowed; the nurses and doctors were troubled by the amount of blood I was losing. Blood tests and ultrasounds also confirmed a miscarriage. Since I was bleeding so much the doctors were not sure if a D&C was needed. They wanted to wait to see if my body would finish cleaning out on it's own. While waiting for the Doctors to make a decision, I passed out once and almost a second time. An IV of fluids was started to help thin my blood and hydrate me. The decision to operate was made. I had lost too much blood and they were worried I would need a transfusion if they let it continue.

By 10am I was recovering from surgery and sent home. I got home for a nap while Bobby picked up the kids. They woke me up with kisses and snuggles! I am still recovering. I'm tired and in slight pain but finding joy in being able to sit and watch how precious my kids are! And how incredibly amazing my husband is! He didn't leave my side the entire time we were at the hospital. He was right there when I woke up from surgery and he continues to take care of the kids and the house while I am recovering, physically and emotionally.

Pregnancy, babies and the process of nursing have me in awe of God. He has thought of everything! Even through losing a baby, I can see His mighty work. I know to lean on Him for my strength and peace. I do not feel at peace yet; I see my family and feel like there is something missing. Then I feel a bit ridiculous because I was only 6 weeks along. But, we had already made plans to push projects aside to save for a bigger vehicle and told everybody!  We have an outpouring of love and help from family and friends; which we are incredibly thankful to God for providing this support system! I know the sense of peace will come as long as I am diligent in praying for it.

We would appreciate your prayers as well!

Combined Birthday Party!

I would say most parents wouldn't be on board with combining their kids' birthday parties! But we absolutely loved it, especially since their birthdays are 3 weeks apart! It was fun to plan it and nice that there was only one party to focus on! We has Chick Fil A for food and a water slide we borrowed from friends. It was a great day!

Water slide was a HUGE hit!

As were the Power Wheels!
The green John Deer one is the kids' birthday gift!

A baby chick for the kids to see!

The boys!

Chick Fil A is good but I'd rather eat the watermelon!

The cake pops! 

 

Yum!

Family hanging out!

My boy!

My girl!

Pictures through out the year! 

Capri Update: 1 Year!

Oh man! We hit the year mark! Capri has officially become a toddler! She toddles her way all over!

Weight /Health

Now I am not one for naked baby shots on the internet
but this is such a cute picture!

Little Miss is keeping her weight steady at 21.5 pounds. I can't remember her height from the 1 year check up! I will update it when we get the info. She is in the 25 percentile for height and 75 percentile for weight. Doctor says our Little Girl is healthy! Whoop!

Sleep

I can't get my girl away rom 3 naps a day!! Most days she takes a small nap in the morning, a 2.5 hour nap in the afternoon, and a small 1/2 hour nap in the evening. On occasion she will skip the evening nap then she is ready for bed by 7:30pm instead of 8:00pm. She does sleep through the night, wakes up at 7am.

Clothes

I always wonder what she is thinking

Still rockin the 12 month. We have some 18 month shirts out for the length. I just love to see her in dresses now that she is walking all over! Dressing a girl is SO much fun!

Social

Helping J celebrate his birthday with friends at the park!

Musical Munchkins is over for this session. I think we are going to skip the Summer session. I feel like I started her too early and she wasn't quite into it. She is also VERY independant and didn't like us showing her what to do! I'm hoping it's because I started her too early (before turning 1) and in the Fall she will be a little better. I will definitely update on that in September. We have had so much fun hanging with the kids' cousins! We had the kids' combined birthday party! It was so easy for me! I will always have my kids' share a party! More on that here. We also helped Jeremy celebrate his birthday and show his 3 Random Act of Kindness!

Brotherly/Sisterly Love

These kids continue to make my heart leap when I see them together. It truly is a mama's pure joy!

Diet

Eating a tortilla!

Capri is eating everything under the sun! Her favorites include: avocados, bananas, blueberries and tortillas! We are still nursing about 5 times a day. It's such a sweet times for me! She is not much of a snuggler. But when her little hand signs milk and I hook her up she just melts into my arms. I soak up every minutes of it! I know it will not last forever!

Milestones 

This is her new favorite game. She lays on the carpet pretending to be asleep.
We say, "Sleeping baby."
Then we say, "Baby awake"

"Baby Awake"
She pops up and giggles! Then we do it all over again!

Oh my goodness! Capri's sign language is getting so good! She signs: milk, more, please, thank you, eat, all done. Jeremy loves to teach her new ones. So each morning at breakfast we go through the book and find new signs to teach her! Walking is definitely preferred over crawling now!