I realize most of my posts have a positive tone; I keep it that way for a reason. I want to encourage people who may be in the same place in life. I think our attitude has huge affect on how we handle situations. However, I don't want my life to come off as perfect, because it is far from that. Don't get me wrong we have a GREAT life in which, God deserves ALL the glory, but there are struggles.
I have a dream of my children reading this blog one day to reminisce on their childhood. I want them to see the victories AND the struggles; to help when they are in their childrearing years as parents.
Recently, I've had a hard time emotionally with bed rest. My restrictions started MUCH earlier than the pregnancies with Jeremy and Capri. By 22 weeks (just over 1/2 way along) I was limited to not picking Capri up. With that limitation came a few logistical complications but we made it through.
4 weeks later, (26 weeks), I was put on moderate bed rest due to unusual tightening while I was up and about. That left 11 weeks until the baby was "safe to come." That number has been daunting to me. HOW do I cope with 11 weeks of not taking care of my children and our home. On the bright side, I was not hospitalized and could be home with my family. It was not THAT bad. I realize there are others that have it much worse.
Contractions and back pain started about 29 weeks, easing into full bed rest. Contractions are not strong and go away as long as I'm laying down. Again, not too much to be alarmed by, unless things change.
During this time of going over my feelings and emotions, I started to study the book of Philippians in the Bible. There's an awesome ebook that goes through Philippians verse by verse with history, other verses and commentary. Here's the link: Philippians Devotion.
While studying Paul, his thankfulness and unshakable joyful attitude, no matter his life situation really stuck out to me! I realized I was sulking and not waking up each morning with a thankful, joyful heart. There are so many ways God is helping me through this season in my life. I am not alone, physically or spiritually. I wrote a list of the things I have to be thankful and joyful for right now:
- God is protecting this baby girl! She has passed the Gestational age where she can, with medical attention, live outside of the womb. Each day we make closer to April 24 is a significant blessing.
- We have help every day Bobby is working. Even if we don't schedule it, friends randomly text and ask if I need help that day.
- The kids are doing great with the transition of so many people coming to take care of them. They are listening to the different "parenting" styles and adjusting well.
- My desire of the house to be cleaned and picked up all the time is being squashed, realizing it can not all be done right now, I just need to accept it.
- B is doing a great job of juggling all these roles, he is husband, wife, daddy and mommy. He goes to work for 24 hours and comes home to serve us with nothing but joy.
- Bobby has had the vacation time to take off when needed and able to work a few extra days so when the baby does come he can be home with us for a few weeks.
- Our house has been stocked with groceries. There is enough food to keep us fed. People have offered to go grocery shopping to alleviate that from Bobby's never-ending to-do list.
- I get the opportunity to WATCH my kids. So rarely in the daily hustle and bustle of life I don't sit and watch. I get to see their little minds at work, I get to teach them to guide their heart towards kind decisions, I get to pour into them. Sure, I do this when life is normal but not as often or intentionally.
- I get to listen to the way the kids respond, play, and react with Daddy! This fills me heart!
I have pulled this list out many times and used them as prayer when my patience is growing thin and I need to use praise to pull myself out of the funk. Being in a funk is not a bad thing, nor is it unhealthy. Living in that funk, phase, self loathing is where the season of life can become a way of life and before you realize it, years have passed.
The famous Charles Swindoll quote, "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react". Go. Do. Make lemonade.
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